Be the person you want to be

Me and my brother are now both grown up, I'm 20 and he's 23. Our parents split up when I was 15 and he was 18. It really wasn't easy. It started at 13 with individual arguments between my mum and dad behind closed doors, which they thought we couldn't hear.


You see me and my brother had the ideal family, a nice house in a nice area, family holidays, nice schools, good sets of friends, we had good morals and we knew what we wanted to do with ourselves.


To cut straight to the point, my family went from being considered a family people wish they had to a broken mess.


My mum cheated on my dad 2 times. The first time caused an argument so vile the police turned up. My mum has ran off with me in the middle of the night to escape my dad.


My dad ended up in hopeless amounts of debt, which he is still paying off to this date. He also cheated on my mum 4 or 5 times.


By the time I hit 16, I started work. I gave my dad £1000 which I had earned working 6 nights a week for a year so that they wouldn't take our house off us. By the time I was 17 I had more fist fights with my dad then I had roast dinners and I had also missed one of the most important days of my educational life to pick my mum up from the police station. I went through countless drunken and sleepless nights wondering if I had done something wrong, if my parents loved me and my brother, even if my brother blamed me.


Everything I have said shaped me as the young man I am now. My parents installed a set of morals in me from a young age and I've always stuck by them. People deal with their problems in different ways - me, I like to be organised. I like to break down each day into what is going to be the most important/beneficial thing for me.


I'm 20 years old, I have 12 GCSEs, 4 A-levels, I made my first £1,000 at 16 yrs old, by 17 I was a restaurant manager and by 18, I had saved up enough money to accomplish my dream, I went travelling to Australia, Thailand, Cambodia, Abu Dhabi, Kuala Lumpur, and Bali. By just over my 19th birthday I returned home and got my old job back. I have a car and a good group of friends AND family around me.


Every single one of us have choices in this world. I chose to make something of myself. Parents breaking up is never a child's fault, and anyone that tells you otherwise is wrong.

Your parents tell you to learn from your mistakes, and from a young age they always tell you that you can be whatever you want to be! Don't let their break-up change any ambition or expectation or goal that you have! learned from the mistakes my parents have made, focused the anger or frustration I have and put it to use. I blocked out my anger and I focused on attributes and skill sets that will make me a better rounded person in the future.


I'm still learning about the mistakes my parents made and I'm still learning how to better myself. Out of my parents break up came an unbreakable bond between myself and my brother.


If you’re having to deal with your family separating, don't blame yourself. And don't go hard on yourself. Cherish your uniqueness, make yourself into the person you want to be and work towards anything you want! Don't let anything drag you down. Your parents will always be your parents, but you only get one chance at life in this world! Make it what you want it to be.

Photo: Graham Campbell. Creative Commons.